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"Ach! Hans, Run!"
"Ach! Hans, Run!" 2RedRedGreenGreen (6)
Enchantment

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Ach Hans, run It's the . . ." and name a creature card. If you do, search your library for the named card, put it into play, then shuffle your library. That creature has haste. Remove it from the game at end of turn.

Unhinged (Rare)
_____
_____ 1Blue (2)
Creature — Shapeshifter (1/1)

1: This card's name becomes the name of your choice. Play this ability anywhere, anytime.

Unhinged (Uncommon)
Aesthetic Consultation
Aesthetic Consultation Black (1)
Instant

Name an artist. Remove the top six cards of your library from the game, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card by the named artist. Put that card in your hand, then remove all the other cards revealed this way from the game.

Unhinged (Rare)
Ambiguity
Ambiguity 2BlueBlue (4)
Enchantment

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

Unhinged (Rare)
Artful Looter
Artful Looter 2Blue (3)
Creature — Human Wizard (1/2)

Tap: Draw a card, then discard a card.

Whenever a permanent comes into play that shares an artist with another permanent you control, untap Artful Looter.

Unhinged (Common)
Ass Whuppin'
Ass Whuppin' 1WhiteBlack (3)
Sorcery

Destroy target silver-bordered permanent in any game you can see from your seat.

Unhinged (Rare)
Assquatch
Assquatch 4Red (5)
Creature — Donkey Lord (3{1/2}/3{1/2})

Each other Donkey gets +1½/+1½.

Whenever another Donkey comes into play, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.

Unhinged (Rare)
Atinlay Igpay
Atinlay Igpay 5White (6)
Eaturecray — Igpay (3/3)

Oubleday ikestray

Eneverwhay Atinlay Igpay's ontrollercay eaksspay ay onnay-Igpay-Atinlay ordway, acrificesay Atinlay Igpay.

Unhinged (Uncommon)
Avatar of Me
Avatar of Me 2BlueBlue (4)
Creature — Avatar (*/*)

Avatar of Me costs 1 more to play for each ten years you've been alive.

Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.

Avatar of Me's color is the color of your eyes.

Unhinged (Rare)
AWOL
AWOL 2White (3)
Instant

Remove target attacking creature from the game. Then remove it from the removed-from-game zone and put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Unhinged (Common)
Bad Ass
Bad Ass 2BlackBlack (4)
Creature — Donkey Zombie (3{1/2}/1)

1Black, Growl: Regenerate Bad Ass.

Unhinged (Common)
B-I-N-G-O
B-I-N-G-O 1Green (2)
Creature — Hound (1/1)

Trample

Whenever a player plays a spell, put a chip counter on its converted mana cost.

B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Unhinged (Rare)
Blast from the Past
Blast from the Past 2Red (3)
Instant

Madness Red, cycling 1Red, kicker 2Red, flashback 3Red, buyback 4Red

Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to target creature or player.

If the kicker cost was paid, put a 1/1 red Goblin creature token into play.

Unhinged (Rare)
Bloodletter
Bloodletter 2Black (3)
Creature — Zombie (2/3)

When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice Bloodletter. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player.

Unhinged (Common)
Booster Tutor
Booster Tutor Black (1)
Instant

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of those cards into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Unhinged (Uncommon)
Bosom Buddy
Bosom Buddy 3White (4)
Creature — Elephant Townsfolk (1/4)

Whenever you play a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

Unhinged (Uncommon)
Brushstroke Paintermage
Brushstroke Paintermage 3Blue (4)
Creature — Human Wizard (2/3)

Tap: Target permanent's artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn.

Unhinged (Common)
Bursting Beebles
Bursting Beebles 2Blue (3)
Creature — Beeble (2/2)

Bursting Beebles is unblockable as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist.

Unhinged (Common)
Cardpecker
Cardpecker 1White (2)
Creature — Bird (1{1/2}/1)

Flying

Gotcha Whenever an opponent touches the table with his or her hand, you may say "Gotcha" If you do, return Cardpecker from your graveyard to your hand.

Unhinged (Common)
Carnivorous Death-Parrot
Carnivorous Death-Parrot 1Blue (2)
Creature — Bird (2/2)

Flying

At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Carnivorous Death-Parrot unless you say its flavor text.

Unhinged (Common)
Cheap Ass
Cheap Ass 1White (2)
Creature — Donkey Townsfolk (1/3{1/2})

Spells you play cost less to play.

Unhinged (Common)
Cheatyface
Cheatyface BlueBlueBlue (3)
Creature — Efreet (2/2)

You may sneak Cheatyface into play at any time without paying for it, but if an opponent catches you right away, that player may remove Cheatyface from the game.

Flying

Unhinged (Uncommon)
Circle of Protection: Art
Circle of Protection: Art 1White (2)
Enchantment

As Circle of Protection: Art comes into play, choose an artist.

1White: The next time a source of your choice by the chosen artist would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage.

1White: Return Circle of Protection: Art to its owner's hand.

Unhinged (Common)
City of Ass
City of Ass (0)
Land

City of Ass comes into play tapped.

Tap: Add one and one-half mana of any one color to your mana pool.

Unhinged (Rare)
Collector Protector
Collector Protector 3WhiteWhite (5)
Creature — Human Gamer (2/5)

White, Give an opponent a nonland card you own from outside the game: Prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt to you or Collector Protector this turn.

Unhinged (Rare)
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