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Ass Whuppin'
   ( 3)
Sorcery
Destroy target silver-bordered or acorn permanent in any game you can see from your seat.
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Assquatch
  ( 5)
Creature — Donkey
(3{1/2}/3{1/2})
Each other Donkey gets +1½/+1½. Whenever another Donkey enters, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.
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AWOL
 ( 3)
Instant
Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.
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Brushstroke Paintermage
  ( 4)
Creature — Human Wizard
(2/3)
 : Target permanent's artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn.
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Deal Damage
( 4)
Instant
Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target. Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.
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Double Header
( 5)
Creature — Drake
(2/3)
Flying When Double Header enters, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.
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Duh
( 1)
Instant
Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)
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Dumb Ass
( 3)
Creature — Donkey Barbarian
(3{1/2}/2)
At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether Dumb Ass attacks this turn.
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Erase (Not the Urza's Legacy One)
( 3)
Instant
If you control two or more white permanents that share an artist, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost. Exile target enchantment.
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Eye to Eye
( 3)
Instant
You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.
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Face to Face
( 2)
Sorcery
You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.
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Flaccify
( 3)
Instant
Counter target spell unless its controller pays o½.
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Fraction Jackson
 ( 3)
Creature — Human Hero
(1/1{1/2})
, : Return target card with a ½ on it from your graveyard to your hand.
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Frankie Peanuts
( 4)
Legendary Creature — Elephant Rogue
(2/3)
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.
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Gleemax
 ( 1000000)
Legendary Artifact
You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.
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Head to Head
( 1)
Instant
You and target opponent play Seven Questions with the top card of that player's library. If you win, prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn by a source of your choice. (To play Seven Questions, that player looks at the card, then you ask up to six yes-or-no questions about the card that they answer truthfully. You guess the card's name—that's question seven—then the player reveals the card.)
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Kill! Destroy!
( 3)
Instant
Destroy target nonblack creature. Gotcha — If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha" When you do, return Kill Destroy from your graveyard to your hand.
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Letter Bomb
 ( 6)
Artifact
When Letter Bomb enters, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw Letter Bomb. When that player draws Letter Bomb, it deals 19½ damage to them.
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Magical Hacker
( 2)
Creature — Human Gamer
(1/2)
: Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of + with -, and vice versa, until end of turn.
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Mouth to Mouth
( 4)
Sorcery
Choose target opponent and target creature they control. You and that player have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of that creature.
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My First Tome
( 3)
Artifact
, : Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.
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Number Crunch
( 3)
Instant
Return target permanent to its owner's hand. Gotcha — If an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha" When you do, return Number Crunch from your graveyard to your hand.
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Persecute Artist
( 3)
Sorcery
Choose an artist other than Rebecca Guay. Target player reveals their hand and discards all nonland cards with art by the chosen artist.
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Punctuate
( 4)
Instant
Punctuate deals damage to target creature equal to half the number of punctuation marks in that creature's text box. (The punctuation marks are ? , ; : - — ( ) / " " ‘ ' & .)
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Remodel
( 3)
Instant
If you control two or more green permanents that share an artist, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost. Exile target artifact.
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Rod of Spanking
( 1)
Artifact
, : Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"
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Sauté
( 3)
Instant
Sauté deals 3½ damage to any target.
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Save Life
( 1)
Instant
Choose one — • Target player gains 2½ life. • Prevent the next 2½ damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn. Gotcha — If an opponent says "save" or "life," you may say "Gotcha" When you do, return Save Life from your graveyard to your hand.
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Side to Side
( 3)
Instant
You and target opponent arm-wrestle. If you win, create a 3/3 green Ape creature token.
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Spell Counter
( 4)
Instant
Counter target spell. Gotcha — If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.
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Stop That
( 1)
Instant
Target player discards a card. Gotcha — If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha" When you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand.
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Supersize
( 2)
Instant
Target creature gets +3½/+3½ until end of turn.
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Tainted Monkey
( 2)
Creature — Monkey
(1/1)
: Choose a word. Target player mills a card. If a card with the chosen word in its text box was milled this way, they lose 3 life.
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Time Machine
 ( 5)
Artifact
: Exile Time Machine and target nontoken creature you own. Return them to the battlefield at the beginning of your upkeep on your turn X in the next game you play with one of your opponents in this game, where X is the mana value of the exiled creature.
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Touch and Go
( 4)
Sorcery
Destroy target land. Gotcha — If an opponent touches their face, you may say "Gotcha" When you do, return Touch and Go from your graveyard to your hand.
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When Fluffy Bunnies Attack
( 4)
Instant
Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name.
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