At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Ach Hans, run It's the . . ." and the name of a creature card. If you do, search your library for a card with that name, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. That creature gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.

Choose an artist. Exile the top six cards of your library, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card with art by the chosen artist. Put that card in your hand and exile all other cards revealed this way.

: Draw a card, then discard a card.

Whenever a permanent that shares an artist with another permanent you control enters the battlefield, untap Artful Looter.

Destroy target silver-bordered or acorn permanent in any game you can see from your seat.

Oubleday ikestray

Enwhay ouyay eakspay ay onnay-igpay-atinlay ordway, acrificesay Atinlay Igpay.

Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

B.F.M. onto the battlefield. If one B.F.M. card

more creatures.

Trample

Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.

B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Madness , cycling , kicker , flashback , buyback

Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Spells you cast cost less to cast.

You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.

When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.

When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice Bureaucracy and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

Bursting Beebles can't be blocked as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist.

Flying

Gotcha — If an opponent touches the table with their hand, you may say "Gotcha" When you do, return Cardpecker from your graveyard to your hand.

As Censorship enters the battlefield, choose a word.

Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to that player.

As Charm School enters the battlefield, choose a color and balance Charm School on your head.

Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you by sources of the chosen color.

When Charm School falls off your head, sacrifice Charm School.

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.

Flying

Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.)

Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)

As Circle of Protection: Art enters the battlefield, choose an artist.

: The next time a source of your choice with art by the chosen artist would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage.

: Return Circle of Protection: Art to its owner's hand.

As Clam Session enters the battlefield, choose a word.

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may sing at least six words of a song, at least one of which is the chosen word. If you don't, sacrifice Clam Session. You can't repeat a song.

If you roll a 3 on a six-sided die, you may reroll that die.

, Give an opponent a nonland card you own from outside the game: Prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt to you or Collector Protector this turn.

Gotcha — If an opponent says "creature" or "guy," you may say "Gotcha" When you do, return Creature Guy from your graveyard to your hand.

Trample

When this creature dies, return Curse of the Fire Penguin to the battlefield.

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.

Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

Choose another player. Look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card.

Choose another player. You gain 5 life. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, you gain 5 life.

Choose another player. Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

As Drawn Together enters the battlefield, choose an artist.

Creatures with art by the chosen artist get +2/+2.

At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether Dumb Ass attacks this turn.

As Elvish Impersonators enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

As Farewell to Arms enters the battlefield, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.

When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Fat Ass gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Gum isn't food. We checked.)

Counter target spell unless its controller pays o½.

As Form of the Squirrel enters the battlefield, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token. You lose the game when that creature leaves the battlefield.

Creatures can't attack you.

You have shroud.

You can't cast spells.

, : Return target card with a ½ on it from your graveyard to your hand.

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

When Free-for-All enters the battlefield, exile all creatures face down.

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with Free-for-All at random and puts it onto the battlefield.

When Free-for-All leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

Exile all lands. Give each player a number of those cards chosen at random equal to the number of those cards the player controlled. Each player returns those cards to the battlefield under their control.

When Ghazbán Ogress enters the battlefield, if one player has won more Magic games that day than any other player, that player gains control of Ghazbán Ogress.

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

, : Reflip any coin or reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

When you speak, sacrifice Goblin Mime.

First strike

At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal a card from your hand at random.

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

2 — A card named Goblin Tutor

3 — An enchantment

4 — An artifact

5 — A creature

6 — An instant or sorcery

All creatures with art by the artist of your choice get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn.

Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.

As Handcuffs enters the battlefield, choose a player.

When the chosen player's hands aren't touching each other, sacrifice Handcuffs and that player sacrifices three permanents.