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"Ach! Hans, Run!"
"Ach! Hans, Run!" 2RedRedGreenGreen (6)
Enchantment

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Ach Hans, run It's the . . ." and name a creature card. If you do, search your library for the named card, put it into play, then shuffle your library. That creature has haste. Remove it from the game at end of turn.

Unhinged (Rare)
_____
_____ 1Blue (2)
Creature — Shapeshifter (1/1)

1: This card's name becomes the name of your choice. Play this ability anywhere, anytime.

Unhinged (Uncommon)
Aesthetic Consultation
Aesthetic Consultation Black (1)
Instant

Name an artist. Remove the top six cards of your library from the game, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card by the named artist. Put that card in your hand, then remove all the other cards revealed this way from the game.

Unhinged (Rare)
Ambiguity
Ambiguity 2BlueBlue (4)
Enchantment

Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered.

Unhinged (Rare)
Artful Looter
Artful Looter 2Blue (3)
Creature — Human Wizard (1/2)

Tap: Draw a card, then discard a card.

Whenever a permanent comes into play that shares an artist with another permanent you control, untap Artful Looter.

Unhinged (Common)
Ashnod's Coupon
Ashnod's Coupon 0 (0)
Artifact

ocT, Sacrifice Ashnod's Coupon: Target player gets you target drink.

Errata: You pay any costs for the drink.

Unglued (Rare)
Ass Whuppin'
Ass Whuppin' 1WhiteBlack (3)
Sorcery

Destroy target silver-bordered permanent in any game you can see from your seat.

Unhinged (Rare)
Assquatch
Assquatch 4Red (5)
Creature — Donkey Lord (3{1/2}/3{1/2})

Each other Donkey gets +1½/+1½.

Whenever another Donkey comes into play, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn.

Unhinged (Rare)
Atinlay Igpay
Atinlay Igpay 5White (6)
Eaturecray — Igpay (3/3)

Oubleday ikestray

Eneverwhay Atinlay Igpay's ontrollercay eaksspay ay onnay-Igpay-Atinlay ordway, acrificesay Atinlay Igpay.

Unhinged (Uncommon)
Avatar of Me
Avatar of Me 2BlueBlue (4)
Creature — Avatar (*/*)

Avatar of Me costs 1 more to play for each ten years you've been alive.

Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.

Avatar of Me's color is the color of your eyes.

Unhinged (Rare)
AWOL
AWOL 2White (3)
Instant

Remove target attacking creature from the game. Then remove it from the removed-from-game zone and put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Unhinged (Common)
B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster)
B.F.M. (Big Furry Monster) BlackBlackBlackBlackBlackBlackBlackBlackBlackBlackBlackBlackBlackBlackBlack (15)
Scariest Creature You'll Ever See (99/99)

B.F.M. into play. If either B.F.M. card

more creatures.

Unglued (Rare)
Other Versions
Unglued (Rare)
Bad Ass
Bad Ass 2BlackBlack (4)
Creature — Donkey Zombie (3{1/2}/1)

1Black, Growl: Regenerate Bad Ass.

Unhinged (Common)
B-I-N-G-O
B-I-N-G-O 1Green (2)
Creature — Hound (1/1)

Trample

Whenever a player plays a spell, put a chip counter on its converted mana cost.

B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

Unhinged (Rare)
Blacker Lotus
Blacker Lotus 0 (0)
Artifact

ocT: Tear Blacker Lotus into pieces. Add four mana of any one color to your mana pool. Play this ability as a mana source. Remove the pieces from the game afterwards.

Unglued (Rare)
Blast from the Past
Blast from the Past 2Red (3)
Instant

Madness Red, cycling 1Red, kicker 2Red, flashback 3Red, buyback 4Red

Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to target creature or player.

If the kicker cost was paid, put a 1/1 red Goblin creature token into play.

Unhinged (Rare)
Bloodletter
Bloodletter 2Black (3)
Creature — Zombie (2/3)

When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice Bloodletter. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player.

Unhinged (Common)
Booster Tutor
Booster Tutor Black (1)
Instant

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of those cards into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Unhinged (Uncommon)
Bosom Buddy
Bosom Buddy 3White (4)
Creature — Elephant Townsfolk (1/4)

Whenever you play a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

Unhinged (Uncommon)
Bronze Calendar
Bronze Calendar 4 (4)
Artifact

Your spells cost o1 less to play as long as you speak in a voice other than your normal voice.

If you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Unglued (Uncommon)
Brushstroke Paintermage
Brushstroke Paintermage 3Blue (4)
Creature — Human Wizard (2/3)

Tap: Target permanent's artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn.

Unhinged (Common)
Bureaucracy
Bureaucracy 3BlueBlue (5)
Enchantment

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, during the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.

If any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice Bureaucracy and said PLAYER discards his or her complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

Unglued (Rare)
Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire
Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire 3Red (4)
Enchantment

Whenever any player taps a card, that player gives control of that card to an opponent at end of turn.

If a player does not tap any nonland cards during his or her turn, Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire deals 3 damage to that player at end of turn.

Unglued (Rare)
Bursting Beebles
Bursting Beebles 2Blue (3)
Creature — Beeble (2/2)

Bursting Beebles is unblockable as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist.

Unhinged (Common)
Cardboard Carapace
Cardboard Carapace 5Green (6)
Enchant Creature

For each other Cardboard Carapace card you have with you, enchanted creature gets +1/+1.

Errata: This does not count any Cardboard Carapace cards in play that you control or in your graveyard, hand, or library.

Unglued (Rare)
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