"Mike Burns" (13)
Trample
, Sacrifice Contraption Cannon: It deals damage to any target equal to the number of Contraptions you control.
Crash of Rhino Beetles gets +10/+10 as long as you control ten or more lands.
When Deathbloom Thallid dies, create a 1/1 green Saproling creature token.
: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice Flavor Judge and counter that spell or ability.
, : Create a 2/2 colorless Homunculus creature token. It must be represented by a unique hand and two fingers at all times, or it ceases to exist.
Haste
You can attack with Party Crasher once each combat during each opponent's turn.
When Quarry Beetle enters the battlefield, you may return target land card from your graveyard to the battlefield.
Vigilance, reach, trample
Ramunap Hydra gets +1/+1 as long as you control a Desert.
Ramunap Hydra gets +1/+1 as long as there is a Desert card in your graveyard.
Flying
When Skull Saucer enters the battlefield, destroy target creature and put your head on the table. Sacrifice Skull Saucer when your head stops touching the table.
When Soulstinger enters the battlefield, put two -1/-1 counters on target creature you control.
When Soulstinger dies, you may put a -1/-1 counter on target creature for each -1/-1 counter on Soulstinger.
Assist (Another player can pay up to of this spell's cost. You choose the value of X.)
Support X. (Put a +1/+1 counter on each of up to X target creatures.)
Each creature with a +1/+1 counter on it gains trample until end of turn.
Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)